Australia is tough. Aside from being a brutally long flight just to arrive on y’all’s shores, we then have to fly to roughly half the shows, and flying means prepping two big fuckin’ pedalboards, two guitars, a bass, a baritone, a synth, a shit ton of cables, cymbals, snare, miscellaneous drum stuff, merch, and our personal stuff for travel on a nightly basis. It’s pricey and exhausting.
We’ve also had trouble with Australian booking agents. On our first tour, the agent cut corners and overloaded our schedule to the point where we went three days without sleep. Literally… between 6am flights, matinee shows, evening shows, and afterparty DJ sets there was no time to rest. Our guitar player has epilepsy and can’t go without sleep or it’ll trigger a seizure. Our drummer got an eye infection because he didn’t bring his glasses and he basically had to go 72 hours with his contacts in. The agent made $30,000 off our tour (a number I only know because a friend in NYC knew an Australian band who had heard him bragging about it to someone else), and meanwhile we spent multiple nights in Melbourne with the three of us sharing one mattress and one blanket on the floor of his unheated office during a random cold snap. We even gave this guy a second shot and returned to Australia under renegotiated terms and it was still a mess. I could literally talk for hours about everything that was fucked up on those first two tours (and I’ll discuss some of it in more detail when I get around to talking about Miles Davis’ Bitches Brew record here).
Our last trip to Australia was with a different agent/promoter and was much more pleasant, but it wound up he had a lecherous reputation and he got called out by several women at the peak of the #metoo movement, so we’re no longer working with him either.
If someone in Australia wants to book us and pay us fairly and doesn’t try to exploit us and doesn’t send sexts to 16-year-old girls, let us know. I still haven’t held a fuckin’ koala and I miss Cooper’s Sparkling Ale.